after a year and 4 months...

- i finally had the time to update my journal
- i made a lot of mistakes.. daming bopols!
- i met old friends, and people who i prefer not to intentionally meet
- new friends gained
- old friends lost
- same barkada, same school, different year level
- more challenges met
- more workload given, more responsibilities and missions to fulfill
- stress factor multiplied to a high degree
- weight gained, weight lost
- things missed, things missing
- feelings missed, lessons re-learned
- i was lost, but now found
- less serious, more kwela


in other words: bigger, better, stronger... and WISER

crap. i forgot what bible passage was that saying how deceitful human hearts are. nevertheless, it is of great importance that we must be vigilant and guard our hearts...ika nga ng proverbs, guard your hearts for it is the fountain of life.

wow. how amazing it is to find truth is such a book. i never knew this truth existed. i never knew that the human heart is the most deceitful among all things. grabe, galing talaga ni ate joyce. parang retreat na kinompact sa 2 oras. galing galing. :D

Thank you Lord for friends who are caring and true. Thank you for Alvin, Penne, Ria, Honey, at oo si Malu na din po. And Elise, too. I could never have tolerated life at med skul without them. Lalo na po si Alvin. Bless him Lord that he may be able to pass all his subjects. Ganun din po si Penne at si Malu. At siyempre, ako din. Amen. :D

oneanime.com

go manga! :D haha!

*note to self ito


-i was not born to be a carpenter, nor an engineer. i was born to be a physician...and a BIOchemist.

This was the title of the musical concert held by the organization called Agape last November 13, 7:00 PM at the BSRL Hall of UP Manila. The event was what I would call a cross between a recollection and a concert - singing hymns of praise using secular melodies with intermissions of personal stories and revelations. It was most unusual for me to be in that particular event. Why? You might ask. It's because the hall was full of born-again Christians, and I think I was the only Roman Catholic present. But despite this fact, it never made me feel out of place. Well, I had to thank Alvin for that.

So what was my purpose that I made time despite my busy schedule to type this "news"? I simply want to share what I learned and heard during that event which I think many will be able to find useful (not that many read my journal). And I also want to document this important event in my life, since I learned a lot of things in here. Well, in case i get demented anyway, hehe.

Many people nowadays think that Gospel music is really corny and out of style...well, too bad they haven't appreciated it, yet. the truth is, it is "funky". the melodies are wonderful that you'd never get bored listening to it over and over and over and over again and again and again... take it from me who happens to have a collection of international songs, even those languages i can never understand. I've been hooked to this "new" "funky" music that I even included it in my iPod playlist! see? that's how catchy those tunes are.

I recall one of the speakers telling inspirational stories and revelations. she said many wonderful things, and here are a few which I'd like to share with you:

** she stated what she think are the needs of man:
1. the need to BELONG
2. the need to be in CONTROL
3. the need to be AFFIRMED
but to my surprise, she actually used these 3 needs to make it clear how our faith in God pivots our every actions towards these needs.

** You think you have the biggest, the most massive, humongous, gigantic problem in the whole wide world. But you know, YOU are just one part of the world, and the world is just one part of the planets, and the planet is just one part of the solar system, and the solar system is just one part of the galaxy, and the galaxy is just one part of the universe. Si Lord, dinadangkal lang niya ang kalawakan (reaches out her hands as if trying to pick up something that's fist-sized). So tell me, anong problema mo ang hindi Niya kayang lutasin?

** Si Lord, He never wants to make us miserable. He will never want us to be in the wrong of things. He never wishes us evil. But when problems come along, we think that He abandoned us. God will never want anything bad to happen to us, and we must firmly believe on that. He will never let us experience these problems, because He knows what we can do - which, most of the time, we don't know ourselves. He will never put us in situations we cannot handle, because HE knows we have the capacity to overcome them. He knows us more than we know ourselves.

** during creation, at the end of each day, God surveys His work and comments on it. When He created the light, the earth, and the skies, He said "it is good". But you know what? When He created man, made from the soil and breathed life into it, made it from His own image and likeness, He said as He surveyed His creation, "it is VERY good". So you see, no matter who you are, no matter how many failures you accumulate in your career, no matter how ugly and low-esteemed, how unsuccessful you are in your work, studies, etc. no matter how IMPERFECT you are, He will always say whenever He surveys you that you are VERY good.

And I don't know, this could break my heart or save me
Nothing's real until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me

Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

And I don't know, I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me

Three months and I'm still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know
It's never really over, no

Three months and I'm still standing here
Three months and I'm getting better yeah
Three months and I still am

Three months and I'm still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up

Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

________________________________________

It's more like three years than three months to me though.

God is so majestic, so powerful, yet so humble. He makes big things possible and also makes them disappear with a wink. But what is so glorious about Him, is that He always has the answers to our "WHY's", most of which we can never fathom, we can never understand, but only accept.

It is during in our difficulties and defeat when His greatness shows. Because it is during in these trials we learn that we are imperfect, we are powerless, we are NOTHING...compared to Him. Nevertheless, He sees us perfectly, because we are His own, our thoughts, our feelings, our lives. He owns everything, even our sorrows, our fears, our pain.

Human love is NOTHING compared to God's love. We love intermittently, it comes one day and leaves after a while. We are left downtrodden, weak, vulnerable, suffering. But God, He loves continuously and unconditionally.

I once tried living for someone. It failed me. And as mature as I think I am, it took me years to realize the biggest mistake I did. "For we do not live for ourselves nor for other people. We live only for Him."

wow. it's been more than 30 days since my last post. talk about delays! well, a lot of things happened between the gap many of which are worth remembering and others not.

*lola had her rib/s fractured. she slipped and her thorax slammed to the cement floor. praise God no internal injuries were incurred. although it felt bad having to reject the idea of me travelling alone to nurse her at our home in bicol. finally, ma had no choice but to go there herself. all seems to be okay although i miss mama's presence here at home. i mean, all i do is watch tv at her room.

*bossa nova, i never thought i would come to really like this genre. heard a whole album from penne's LT, not caring to know who the artist is. it's really soothing when you listen to it.

*finally, na-archive na rin ang mga cp messages and files and recordings from 1st semester. because i know it'll be really tedious to label each file, i just made the arrangements generalized.

*been watching horror movies since monday. i'm amazed to know how many horror movies i've watched in my life, from the lumang luma to the new ones. to the point na wala na akong mapanood na horror movie dahil napanood ko na yung pinapalabas before. pati asean flicks pinagtiyatiyagaan ko na rin. sana ipalabas naman nila yung the tale of two sisters, cute kasi yung poster nun eh.

*kelan kaya yung next movie festival sa UP? miss ko ng pumunta dun. baka pwedeng yayain si ria, hehehe!! can't wait to hear her screams! haha!

*random thought: why do some people wear their slippers or flip flops or whatever you call it, tightly to their feet. you know, yung walang space in between the foot and the slipper? ang sagwa lang tignan. lalo na kung lalaki. eeww. i'm just thinking na isn't it that you wear them coz they're comfy? it's for comfort kaya hindi ko ma-gets kung bakit gusto nilang masikip yung fitting the tsinelas.

*ebay plans suspended. to be continued on x-mas vacation. need to study first the ins and outs of it. it's more complicated than i thought.

*nakalimutan ko na pala yung utang ko kay harvey. promised to read his novel. ilang hundred pages lang naman! hah! no wonder i forgot about it. hehe! hindi ko na nga rin maalala where i saved that file.

*kukunin ko din pala kay jay yung notes na pinahiram ko. ...hmm...things to remember...

*is alvin gay? haha! penne, ikaw ha...

*nakakatamad ng magtxt...to the point na binura ko na lahat ng laman ng phone ko. salamat naman.

*i love writing journals, pero wala pa ring tatalo sa handwritten though it's more tiring. can't believe how long i've written one. last year pa siguro yung last time.

*malapit ng magpasukan. in fairness, namimiss ko rin si malu kahit lagi niya akong inaaway. hehehe!! pasalubong!

-ciao!

the day that was

hmm..what can i say about this day?.. i don't know. i'm torn between being happy and being sad. i know people really change after college, but i guess some people are worse and some develop better after leaving college. so, saan ka kaya sa dalawa?

i'm happy i met one of my bestfriends in college and had half a day to chat with her non-stop! i was soooo tired pagkauwi that i only accomplished one thing among my list of to do's for the weekend (loaded with school stuff). nag-edit lang ng pics na ipapadevelop for the previous practicals.

well, i think i won't enumerate all the not-so-good things that happened this day. i know may matatamaan kasi so i'd rather keep it to myself. about the not-so-good situation i got into, i got scared nung awayin kami/ako ng isang ale while we were buying at this store in a mall. i was shocked!!!! well, can't blame myself for that kind of reaction since it was my FIRST time lang naman!! anyway, i simply told the lady that i was in line and that each one of us were waiting in line anyway! and the funny thing is, she went quiet after my speech. *hooray!* i felt double scared as i saw the security guard beside us. whew! of course i don't want any arguments nor violence. hay naku, ako pa! ako pa ang sabihang hindi pumipila eh napaka-good girl ko sa ganyang mga conducts noh! i mean in public places pa for that matter! nakaka-degrade! hehehe!

well, i was disappointed too but not enough to meet my friend's level. you didn't even noticed by burnt hand, my new hair and the fact that i'm wearing girly blouses now! ha! :p i guess it simply boils down to one point, you're not one of us anymore. lahat naman tayo nagbago, but as i said even before, you've become distant, if not more.

there are many many times when i tell you things, some of which are meant to "threaten" you, to advice you, to guide you, to make you feel that you are loved, to "depress" you, to make you humble, to delfate your ever growing ego, to help you realize and see things which you neglect to see. right now, we clash most of the time when we get to talk (which is rarely by the way!). whatever i say to you, you seem to be deflecting it. do i threaten you that much? do you think i find joy brandishing you with such "hitting" words? do you think i sinisterly plan to round up our friends, make an alliance with them and degrade your character, so i can feel good about myself? if you don't trust me, then what kind of a friend do you think i am?

i really love nina's birthday song "araw mo". i love it so much i uploaded it for my big brother who now lives and studies abroad. at dahil sa super miss ko na siya, di ko rin napigilang gumawa ng a little something for him so he's updated sa mga buhay namin dito sa pinas.





i love you big bro. just hang on there.

bakit mabilis magsawa ang tao? nakapagtataka.

love ko itong song na ito na rendition ni paula chavez.


Walang tigil ang gulo
Sa aking pag-iisip,
Mula nang tayo'y nagpas'yang maghiwalay;
Nagpaalam pagka't hindi tayo bagay,
Nakapagtataka

Kung bakit ganito
Ang aking kapalaran;
Di ba't ilang ulit ka nang nagpaalam,
At bawat paalam ay puno nang iyakan?
Nakapagtataka, nakapagtataka

Hindi ka ba napapagod,
O di kaya nagsasawa,
Sa ating mga tampuhang
Walang hanggang katapusan

Napahid na'ng mga luha,
Damdamin at puso'y tigang,
Wala nang maibubuga,
Wala na 'kong maramdaman
Kung tunay tayong nagmamahalan
Ba't di tayo magkasunduan?

Walang tigil ang ulan
At nasaan ka araw?
Napano na'ng pag-ibig sa isa't isa?
Wala na bang nananatiling pag-asa?
Nakapagtataka, saan na napunta?

Hindi ka ba napapagod,
O di kaya nagsasawa,
Sa ating mga tampuhang
Walang hanggang katapusan

Hindi ka ba napapagod,
O di kaya nagsasawa,
Sa ating mga tampuhang
Walang hanggang katapusan

Kung tunay tayong nagmamahalan,
Ba't di tayo magkasunduan, oh hoh ho hoo?
Hmmm...


nakakapagtaka talaga kung bakit hindi si pow ang naging philippine idol. she's my bet.

While cleaning and organizing our cabinet full of books, papers, etc., I happen to stumble upon Kuya's photoalbum, only to find out that it contains only one picture. Actually, most of its contents are letters and passages. Of course, I dare not look into those letters since I know they're private matters unlike those letters of his from the bank. Anyway, I saw our picture when we were still kiddos. We were at Aguinaldo's shrine. Nag-picture kami dun sa libingan ni Aguinaldo. My hair was really short then and my sister was still wearing socks and sandals terno back then. Hehe! I was smiling. It was my first time in Cavite and as far as I can remember, ma-traffic pa rin even noon -- naalala ko kasing maaga kaming umalis sa bahay (back then we were still residing in QC). So, back to the photoalbum. My attention was caught by the different passages found at the near end of the album. After reading the passages, I had a sudden idea to share it here so that everytime I feel like reading and re-reading my previous journal entries, ma-i-inspire uli ako. hehe!

xxxxx
I LOVE YOU (John 15:9). I have called you by your name, you are mine (Isaiah 43:1). Before I formed you, I knew you. Before you were born, I consecrated you (Jeremiah 1:5). You did not choose me, I chose you (John 15:16). Because you are precious to me, and honored, I love you (Isaiah 43:4). I have loved you with an everlasting love so I continue to show you my constant love (Jeremiah 31:3). How can I abandon you? My love for you is too strong (Hosea 11:8). Can a woman forget her own baby and not love the child she bore? Yet, even she should forget, I will never forget you - I can never forget you. See, I have carved you on the palm of my hand (Isaiah 49:15-16). For I, the Lord your God, am holding you by the right hand (Isaiah 41:13). Do not be afraid. I have redeemed you (Isaiah 43:1). I am with you (Isaiah 43:5). And be sure of this, I am with you always until the end of the world...(Matthew 28:20). Do not let your heart be troubled. Trust in me (John 14:1). I will help you (Isaiah 41:14). When you pass through deep waters, I wil be with you. Your troubles will not overwhelm you. The hard trials that come will not hurt you (Isaiah 43:2). Do not worry (Luke 12:9). Even the hairs of your head have all been counted, so there is no need to be afraid of anything (Matthew 10:30). THe mountain may depart and the hills wil be shaken, but my steadfast love for you will never end (Isaiah 54:10). Come, my love (Song of Songs 2:10). Come. I will lead you into solitude and there I will speak tenderly to your heart. I will be true and faithful. I will show you constant love and make you mine forever. I wil keep my promise...and you will really know me then as never before (Hosea 2:16,21-22). I am who I am (Exodus 3:14). I am the Lord your God (hosea 13:4).

xxxxx
How To Stay Young:
1. throw out nonessential numbers. this includes age, weight, and height. let the doctor worry about them. that is why you pay him/her.
2. keep only cheerful friends. the grouches pull you down.
3. keep learning. learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. never let the brain idle. "AN IDLE MIND IS THE DEVIL'S WORKSHOP." and the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. enjoy the simple things.
5. laugh often, long and loud. laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. the tears happen. endure, grieve, and move on. the only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, and hobbies, whatever. your home is your refuge.
8. cherish your health. if it is good, preserve it. if it is unstable, improve it. if it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. don't take guilt trips. take a trip to the mall, to the next country, to a foreign country, but NOT where the guilt is.
10. tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

xxxxx
Five DEADLY Myths about LOVE:
1. true love conquers all.
2. when it's really true love, you will know it the moment you meet the other person.
3. there is only one true love in the world who is right for you.
4. the perfect partner will fulfill you completely in every way.
5. when you experience powerful sexual chemistry with someone, it must be love.

challenging oneself is okay as long as you don't do it too much. katulad na lamang yesterday, as mon and me were playing basketball at our yard (?), we challenged ourselves if we can shoot the ball at different stages/distances away from the hoop. haha! as i was struggling with stage 5 (the last stage), mon was struggling with stage 3 then stage 4. naku, ang hirap talagang i-shoot. laging kulang ng X (you know, x-coordinates sa cartesian plane?).. in other words, bitin!! so i tried different poses and techniques para lang ma-i-shoot, pero wala pa rin. Hanggang sa hindi ko na mapigilang ibato yung bola. Well, the ball went in (finally) pero sa sobrang lakas ng pagkabato ko, nasira ko naman yung attachment nung ring. haha! so ngayon, hindi kami makapaglaro ng basketball because of that! haha! so ang moral dito ay: wag magbabato ng bola.

xxxxx

my summer's getting boring. i have to find a part-time job... Lord, please help me find one. :D

i do hope matuloy yung balak ko for this summer.

i hate med because:

1. it makes u grow old fast. as in like that (sabay pitik ng daliri).
2. it makes u grow old. brief and straight-forward.
3. it takes a toll on your health. dba health is wealth? so in other words, med robs you blind!
4. tulad nga ni no. 3, even if yumaman ka sa pagiging doctor, mamumulubi ka naman dhl @ that time, majority of your genes have undergone mutation.
5. i hate med not because it's a difficult course to study, but because the schools are making it difficult for the students to study it! leche! wag nio kaming itulad sa pag-trato senyo noong kapanahunan pa ni kopong-kopong! haller! be realistic naman noh!!!! hindi porke't doktor na kayo eh may karapatan na kayong magpahirap ng mga batang gustong maging doktor! and even if you're trying to hide it behind that unbreakable plan of yours and motto that you're only thinking of what is best for us, bullshit! we are not DUMB!
6. hindi makatao ang mga demands. unfair ang pag-disseminate ng tasks. the management is so magulo and mostly unfair. kung di kayo marunong magpalakad better yet step down. or better yet, have a character change.
7. walang kwenta ang admi.
8. i find the arrangement of the schedule, even the topics covered, down to the yearly schedule and even how the prof's teach really stupid. if this is really a post-graduate course, then teach...not read your ppt. teach us things we don't know. hindi yung puro nasa libro lang or mas malala, yung nasa last year's test. uber naman na katamaran yan!
9. it's only in med world where the doctors become the patients and preventive medicine prevents the growth rate of doctors from increasing.
10. i HATE profs who are so over-confident--mas magaling ako sau--doctor na ako--magpapahiya ako kung sino man ang gusto ko--ang laki ng ego--laki din ng favoritism mentality--take pleasure when seeing med students "bangag, walang tulog, o sabog".


So, bakit ko pa pipiliing mag-med sa ganyang environment?

i know the rule of the jungle predominates. pero what if sila ang nasa sitwasyon natin?

be realistic, pwede ba.

yey! now i have all the time in the world to finally finish watching the Princess Hours marathon!!!! :D yes! i've been waiting for this for a long long time na!

hay naku, speaking of mga pinanonood, hmm.. gusto ko talagang panoorin yung movie ni will smith na the pursuit of happyness. kasi trailer pa lang ay talaga namang napa-iyak ako nito, at matagal na rin akong hindi nakakanood sa sine ng movie na maraming "sense". yung hindi lang puro effects and digital chenes. well, you know what i mean!

these coming 3 weeks ay mukhang magiging madugo as compared to the previous weeks nitong school year dahil tlagang bagsakan na nman ang mga deadline and tests araw araw! and syempre there's the compre exam pa so todo naman talaga ang magiging bakbakan nito! (parang paquiao at morales) and syempre magsisilitawan na ulit ang mga eyebugs at sandamakmak na praning na estudyante (due to the lack of sleep and stress). hay naku, parang perya na naman in other words.

last week, i attended my first ever fellowship program. na-impluwensiyahan kasi ako ni penne kaya ganun. pero personally, na-curious din ako sa mga ginagawa duon kaya naman nag-decide ako na sumama. well, it turned out to be an ok experience for me. although cyempre nahihiya ako and all. :D sa sobrang windang ko eh super ginutom ako after. so deretso kami ni penne sa balonde orient => na napunta sa mcdo tapos sa bahay nia. :D

i had my first encouncter with mr comelec who seems to be a very very very busy young man. este, man na pala yun. haha! pareho kaming nagulat when we came face to face: nagulat siya after niyang ma-realze na ako pala si AKO, at nagulat naman ako sa sinabi niyang: "ahh, ikaw pala yung nasa 10th floor". Para bagang, "huh? ano daw un?" hay naku, anyway, at least now naiintindihan ko na kung bakit lagi siyang wala sa mga meeting na dapat naman ay nanduon siya.

siguro nakapagtataka why i'm with comelec people? well, hindi naman po ako mangangandidato sa eleksyon, actually, sa comelec ako sumali.

literally, i feel dizzy. i've been sleeping a lot but still whenever i'm up and awake, nahihilo pa rin ako. hmm... bakit kaya? maybe...

~*~ buntis ako [eh di sino ang ama?]
~*~ overdose ng anti-hists causing too much cns depression [yan kasi...]
~*~ di lang talaga ako sanay na matulog ng matulog [buti pa ako]
~*~ nagkaloko loko na mga gamot na iniinom ko [addict!]
~*~ may nangkukulam sa akin [sino kaya?]
~*~ symptomatic stress episode [wag na nating pag-usapan pa]
~*~ hormonal imbalance due to exogenous steroids [can't help it!]
~*~ this is one of my worst menses ever [ang hirap maging BABAE!]
~*~ global warming
~*~ kelangan ko ng magpatingin sa mata [duling na ba ako?]
~*~ anemic ako [cbc please!]

hay naku, i hope this isn't something worse than i thought. and sana matapos na itong episode of vertigo so that i can go back to work, este school pala.


---------------------------------------
stupid comelec! hay naku, nakaka-irita ha. if you're a "someone" in the society, and you break the ethics of engagement [like when you call for meetings], wag ka ng magtaka if it's very visible na irita ako sa iyo. di mo ba alam na of all the sins, these are the ones you SHOULD NEVER EVER commit:
1. wag kang magpatawag ng meeting 1 hour before the meeting. and even the same day of the meeting. = HOY mister, hindi niyo po hawak ang oras namin! kapal.
2. don't ever be LATE sa meeting na ikaw ang nagpatawag. = mas makapal.
3. at ito ang pinaka-HINAYUPAK sa lahat...don't ever be ABSENT on the same meeting you called for = aba naman! you're not even my boss, at hindi rin ikaw ang bumubuhay sa akin, and even if you were, wala ka pa ring karapatan to do this!

kahit ano pang rason mo, what you did was still unacceptable. at kung magpapa-cancel ka ng meeting, pwede ba? i-cancel mo ng MAAGA. baka.
---------------------------------------

some things a lot of people don't know about me:
1. i love reading books - textbook vs novels? i'd choose novels. sorry snell.
2. i say what's on my mind - half-taklesa, half-bratinella.
3. i love to argue - not intentionally. i just love to debate. some mind game i'm playing
4. you can't make me do what you want unless i wanna do it too
5. i treasure my friends greatly - and try to remember their birthdays!
6. generous akong magbigay ng regalo - i don't mind kahit mahal pero dapat within the budget
7. i wanna go nature tripping!
8. i dream of being a doctor with this kind of schedule: mon-thurs (clinic/hosp), fri-charity work (free-check up), sat&sun-personal days; well of course 9-3 lang ang working hours ko.
9. my dream car is not a rolls royce, a mercedes (it was before), a prosche, nor even a bmw. what i want is a hybrid car equipped with airbags. nature-friendly.
10. i hate politics. very much.
11. mahilig akong magpalusot pero it's never obvious. i'm not saying na mahilig akong mag-imbento ng rason ha!
12. i wanna be a model. kaso kulang sa height.
13. i love to sing (perform) in gatherings.
14. i'd like to have a garage-built band. and for that matter i would love to know how to play the drums, the electric guitar, and piano (professionally).
15. i'd like to be a versatile and talented musician. i wanna be able to sing and at the same time play.
16. i'd love to go on stage and be an actress in plays. and no, i'm not talking about showbiz.
17. i love shoes! those sexy and notorious looking things! kaso i have to save money first.
18. i wanna go to europe and visit places i've read in novels. of course i do wanna visit the states so i can cook dishes [those ingredients you only see there] just like those cooking shows i watch!
19. i'd like to have a very marvelous kitchen. a nice garden, a pool, and syempre, dogs!
20. i love mind-boggling games.
21. i dream of having my own library. yung parang katulad nung sa beauty and the beast.
22. i dream of attending a ball, wearing a balloon gown, glass slippers and having my own carriage.
23. i wanna have a debut whose theme is anime cosplay. :D and i'd dress up as sakura (the dress she wore sa 2nd opening-platina)
24. i half-wanted to be a librarian kahit working student lang. i like shelving books, arranging them by code, and stamping those library cards. [o-c ba?]
25. i wanna be an auror. pero pwede rin superhero, someone with superpowers (storm, rogue, wondergirl, jean gray, etc.)... [may term dito si honey, i forgot what that was!]

there he was just there walking down the street, saying:

"Ross! san ka uwi?"

-hehehe...

Because i want to contemplate on my sin of not studying for today's exam, i went home (board) straight amidst the pangungulit of the group to a prayer meeting and a pizza luncheon after.

I'm so indecisive when i'm in my semi-depressed state. i didn't know what food i wanna eat for lunch. so imbes na isipin ko kasalanan ko, nag-isip na lang ako ng pagkain. Mamaya na yang mga kasalanan na yan!... Hmmm...at first I wanted spaghetti pero i decided to reserve that for dinner. Magbabalak na akong pumuslit ng spag sa Jollibee before going home (LP). So, McDo, KFC, Chowking, o Greenwich? Hmmm...then i estimated my budget. Dapat within the 70 range lang. i don't wanna go overboard my week's baon so i played safe. and tutal sa bahay (LP) naman ako magdidinner, kahit kamatis at prito ok na! anyway, back to my food dilemma. "trip kong mag-rice today coz i need my daily calories" --i've noticed recently that i wasn't meeting my TCR and that i need pa to exercise BADLY!-- "so KFC na lang. Teka, pero parang masarap yung fave kong cheeseburger w/ fries + sundae sa McDo. Hmpf! That's too much calories! isa pa, i'm on a strict french fries diet --if you've ever heard one."

When i reached Morayta, kahit malapit ng ma-dettach ang aking midbrain sa kanyang kinalalagyan thanks to manong fx driver na talo pang mag-drive ang mga rides sa EK, i went straight to KFC. Hmmm..."ok, so i want rice, pero anong klaseng chix ang oordering ko?" I was very indecisive, grabe. So i considered my options. chix steak meal, arroz caldo, o orange chix? Hmmm..."parang gusto ko ng choco mousse ah...hindi, mac salad na lang. halos same lang naman calories nila, at di ko pa natitikman mac salad nila." While i was deciding on the fate of my stomach, i noticed a group of fernians (mga taga-FEU) repeating their order to the crew-na-advanced-kung-kumuha-ng-order. then i heard the 80-kg gay saying his order was a chix steak meal, without the drink. "Hmmm...may ganun ba?", i said to myself sabay silip sa menu. Aba, meron nga. So i calculated the price difference. Aba, P14! So pwede kong i-order yung mushroom soup kapalit nung 12 oz.-120kcal-ang-tamis!-corn-syrup-a.k.a.-softdrink! wow! tuwa naman ako dahil di ko pa natitikman yung soup.

in the end, i went home bitbit ang aking KFC takeout: cream of mushroom, chicken steak meal, and coleslaw (naubusan ako ng mac salad! grrr...). while eating my lunch in my room, na may kasamang sounds sa background from my fave radio station rx, feeling ko ay parang nasa resto na rin ako, without the hustle bustle of hungry people eating, chatting, and whatever else they do sa isang kainan. then i realized, wow! i'm having a really decent meal, complete with soup, rice, chicken, and vegetables...and for just 80 bucks! *burp* oops! :D

hi life!!! ang kilig nang day na'to! nakasama ko siya the whole day.. ui... si pen naman, sobrang pa obvious.. kinalabit pa naman akong nanjan siya.. as in, super obvious talaga tong babaeng to... also, nakasalubong ko pa yung isa ko pang crush sa upper batch.. ang super gwapo niya talaga.. as in the tall, dark, and handsome type... kaya lang, naka-bangga ko siya sa elevator.. si pen kasi e.. hehehe.. kawawa naman tong si pen, si pen palagi may kasalanan... hehehe... ang kilig today no!?

actually, this sort of reminded me...naalala ko si beefsteak, my hs crush. siya yung tipo na short, dark, and talented. syempre crush lang kasi t-bo siya, dba? i mean, straight girl ako noh! wala lang, na-realize ko lang kasi na i'm sooo gay! joke! :D nah, i'm just kidding!!! :D the truth is, na-realize ko na i'm being the same insane person that i was before pagdating sa mga crush crush. like for example, parating naka-"activate" ang aking radar...toot toot...50m 12 o'clock... hay naku...wala lang, para bang i'm always alert whenever he's around. yun.

pero just like what i've said a million times, hanggang paghanga lang. studies muna. :D chenes!

tapos naisip ko rin pala...i wanna run for office next year. may calling ako but i'm trying to assess pa what i wanna do. good luck sa akin!! :D

what makes a girl suddenly become aware of someone's presence?

i don't have an idea what made me do what i did.

he's like beefsteak. and i'm always on alert, always trying to know and observe if he's around, where he is, where he's seated... it feels different.
this can go on and on but still i cannot figure out why i am doing this.

as i told penne during my overnyt stay @ her place, "wag mong pangungunahan ang hndi pa nangyayari."